


Feel What I Really Feel

by PeterStark



Series: Marked by Fate [4]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Barry Allen Has a Crush on Oliver Queen, Barry Allen Needs a Hug, Canon-Typical Violence, Getting Together, M/M, Metaphors, Oliver Queen Has Feelings, Oliver Queen Has Issues, Oliver Queen Needs a Hug, Oliver has a guilt complex, Protective Oliver, Self-Hatred, Sharing Emotions, Sharing Pain, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Still, Vulnerability, and I plan on reusing the metaphors with these two, slowly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:33:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26288800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeterStark/pseuds/PeterStark
Summary: God or the universe had made a mistake when it made the two of them soulmates. After all, day and night only ever had brief tragic meetings. Sunrises and sunsets that lived for only moments of beautiful, blissful peace before either the darkness stole the life from the sun or the sun revealed just how ugly the thing hidden in the darkness was.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Oliver Queen
Series: Marked by Fate [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1564228
Comments: 8
Kudos: 173





	Feel What I Really Feel

**Author's Note:**

> Two in one day. I know, a miracle.  
> I own nothing.

The day started off well. At least well-adjacent for a superhero. Barry pulled two cops out of the way of a bullet, then shoved Joe down. When he got up to face the man who'd fired at his partners, he heard the sound of an arrow, then the snap of a bowstring. Quick as a flash, the suddenly angry officer was on the ground. Barry turned and saw Oliver standing behind him. He couldn't help but smile, the Mark around his throat grew warmer.

Oliver's eyes remained focused on his target for a beat. Then he turned and nodded to Barry. "Nice mask." He said before vanishing.

Barry couldn't help that his smile grew wider. But one look at Joe said he was the only one happy to have Green Arrow, Oliver, in Central.

Things devolved from there.

-

Joe and Harrison seemed to have nothing but contempt for Oliver, well 'Arrow.' Which sucked. Iris gawked at Oliver the whole time they'd been at Jitters which was...awkward. Though she had pointed out his arms and that had gotten Barry's lightning fast thoughts distracted on a decidedly not helpful set of thoughts before he'd had to wrangle them back in to focus on superhero-ing. 

There was all that, plus Oliver sending all sorts of mixed signals with the 'I won't help you, but here's the name of the guy your after you're welcome' act. Plus was Oliver being a little...weird about being about pretty much everything.

Barry turned to watch Oliver stride up to him in Jitters.

"Okay," Oliver said with an almost reluctant tone.

"Okay what?" Barry asked.

"'Okay', we'll help you catch your bad guy."

"Great!" Barry beamed, glad to finally know that Oliver was there, in Central, staying, and not just for one of their breif, usually awkward coffee meet-ups. "Metahuman." He added in correction.

"I'm not calling him that, Barry." Oliver shook his head.

Barry extended his hand. "Partners?" 

Oliver blinked.

It was probably less than a second. But Barry's mind didn't really keep a normal pace anymore. In that second, Barry realized what he'd done. What word he'd chose. How it could have been misconstrued. How he might have upset his soulmate. How he hadn't meant it that way, but yeah Iris was right, look at those arms, and those eyes and-Focus! Barry shook his head. "Not like...you know... I don't mean to make you uncomfortable. I know we aren't there and who knows if that, uh, will be a thing. I didn't mean it like 'partner' partners, but more like the...you know crime-fighting partner sort of thing." Barry whispered the last bit. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Barry!" Oliver stopped his rambling.

"Yes?"

Oliver sighed and shook his head before taking Barry's still offered hand in a firm grasp, firm, but not unkind. "Partners."

Barry was starting to get a bit of whiplash from everything.

"But, if we're going to work together." Oliver said, dropping Barry's hand. "Then there are a few things we need to discuss."

"Like what?"

"Like our differing approaches to our said work. And we should probably discuss it somewhere where our alter egos won't be spotted."

"Oh." Barry's eyes widened. Cool.

"Meet you tomorrow morning, seven."

"Cool. See you then."

"Sure."

This too devolved.

He really was getting some major emotional whiplash.

-

Oliver didn't know how else to do it. It was how he'd been taught. Well, not exactly how he'd been taught, but he wasn't going to drop Barry off on an island and tell him to survive. Oliver hadn't exactly had tough love as a child. His parents had more wanted to be his friend than actual parents, he hadn't had much in the way of 'tough' anything until the island. But the island had taught him that if you wanted a lesson to stick, pain was a good motivation to keep the wisdom. It even worked on thick skulls, like Oliver's, so he figured it would work on Barry.

Did he want to hurt Barry? 

No.

Absolutely not. In fact, part of him felt like this would only prove himself right, prove that he shouldn't be around Barry, shouldn't be around that sunshine smile. Maybe, in part, it was his was of trying to push Barry away. But it was definitely his way to try to teach the young hero to use his head and his abilities wisely, instead of running in blind.

Oliver didn't want to keep feeling the Mark ache, especially knowing that Barry didn't have much in the way of pain meds.

Oliver lifted his bow, the Mark on his hand tugged as if warning him that this was wrong. Oliver knew it was wrong...but he also knew it was tough love. Love? Did he love Barry Allen? No. He loved the energy and the warm smile. But no, it wasn't quite love. Oliver knew that, but there wasn't a word for tough 'not-quite-love.'

"Ready?!" Barry shouted.

No. Oliver wasn't ready. He didn't want to do this. Everything in him didn't want to do this. Everything in him knew it was the only way to get through Barry's stubborn skull. "Ready." He whispered, full draw.

Barry ran forward and caught the arrow. "Nice try." Then two arrows pierced him in the back and he arched, shouting in pain.

Oliver felt twin pricks of hot pain in his wrist where the Mark was and lowered his bow.

"You shot me?!"

"You said you heal fast." Oliver said, trying to keep his tone even as he pulled the arrows from his soulmates back and walked away. He was pretty sure he made his point. Points.

One) Don't be an idiot in the field, Barry.

and Two) Don't come around me, Barry, all I know how to do is hurt.

-

This definitely wasn't Barry. This Barry was angry, wild. Throwing punches that made less sense than normal. All instinct. All wild almost animalistic anger. It made it both difficult to counter, but easier to predict. Oliver didn't have much trust in him, but he had to trust that Barry's team really would pull through and help him. All he had to do was slow the speedster down for a moment.

The only problem was Oliver could feel it. Under all the anger that seemed forced, Oliver could sense emotional pain and turmoil under it. Real pain. Oliver never hated being right so much in his life. Because even if he had been 'whammied' the anger was only enhanced from existing pain, existing turmoil. He'd hurt Barry, just like he knew he would if he came close. He never wanted to fight Barry again, that much was certain.

God or the universe had made a mistake when it made the two of them soulmates. After all, day and night only ever had brief tragic meetings. Sunrises and sunsets that lived for only moments of beautiful, blissful peace before either the darkness stole the life from the sun or the sun revealed just how ugly the thing hidden in the darkness was.

"I've got you, Barry." Oliver said, finally getting the speedster in his grasp, holding his lithe form firmly against his own body. And hell did the Mark on his wrist start humming. Not just with Barry's usual electric energy, but with something warmer. It could have also been in part to having a warm, lovely body pressed to his, but Oliver didn't let his mind linger on it.

The lights flashed. Barry seemed to be snapping out of it. 

"Barry, you okay?"

Barry shook himself and fell forward. "Oh, this is going to be a special kind of hangover." Barry laughed. That small special laugh that brought sunshine with it. Barry was back. It was sunrise, that peaceful moment where things were good.

Oliver knew it was only a matter of moments before the sun revealed just how much of a horrible, dangerous person he was, how unfit he was to be near Barry. But for now, it was sunrise. So he laughed with Barry, smiling genuinely. "Welcome back."

-

The dust settled, but Barry still felt a bit dazed. He watched Felicity and Oliver enter Jitters. Iris tackled them quickly, asking if they wanted coffee, which was still a bit awkward, but Barry got it. He'd seen Oliver. And most people regardless of orientation would gravitate toward...that. Quickly, though Iris went to go get coffee.

"Hey, Bear." Felicity smiled and patted his shoulder.

Barry grinned at his nerdy friend, then glanced at Oliver. "Hey, Felicity...um mind keeping her busy with some girl-talk? I um..." He glanced at Oliver again.

Felicity's head swiveled between the two of them.

Barry began to fiddle nervously with his scarf, a habit he'd gained since having to hide his violent-looking Mark. The scarf was just...really easy to fiddle with and helped ease his nerves.

"Oh. Yeah. Yes! Got it. Girl talk. You two have your...talk." She saluted and chased after Iris.

Barry shifted and looked at the table. "Um, I'm really sorry about what I said."

Oliver shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"I wish I could say it was all Bivolo's fault, but I...guess I had a lot more feelings bottled up than I thought."

Oliver sighed and lowered his hand to the table.

Barry couldn't help but notice the black bracelets around Oliver's wrist. Three of them. One paracord, the others just plain rope. They were fitted perfectly. No matter how Oliver moved his arm, the Mark Barry had put on his wrist remained hidden or at least obscured enough that no one would notice he had a Mark. Barry fiddled with his scarf, the one that his the single handprint around his throat, a strangle hold.

"Barry, I know I don't come across this way but, you can always talk to me. I'm not great at talking myself, but I'm pretty damn good at listening." Oliver cracked a small smile.

"Thanks." Barry smiled a little too.

Oliver ducked his head a little bit. "Yeah." The awkwardness was back.

"And I do get it. I know I have a lot to learn still."

Oliver nodded in agreement.

"And, really I'm sorry about going off like that. I don't know where all of it really came from either."

"Can't say that part of it wasn't deserved." Oliver nodded then bit his lip. "I've got some more 'advice' for you, Barry, and you're not going to like it."

"You gonna shoot me in the back again?" Barry asked tentatively.

"No...in the heart. Because I think I can illuminate where that anger came from. And it was...deserved."

"What do you mean?" Barry asked, confused.

Clenching his jaw, Oliver turned his arm over, his left hand lifted and touched the bracelets and pulled them upward before pausing and looking up at Barry, looking as vulnerable as Barry'd ever seen the man (and Barry'd seen the man dying). "This is a...one time thing. I'm just...warning you."

"Warning me of what?" Barry asked.

Oliver finished pulling the cords out of the way, revealing Barry's fingerprints on his pulse point. He nodded down to the Mark, his eyes jolting around the room as if checking to see if anyone was watching.

Hesitantly, Barry reached out, giving the archer plenty of time to pull away, to cover the Mark back up. Slower than Barry had moved in a long time, he pressed his fingers to the Mark, recreating the very first time he'd touched Oliver.

The anxiety and calm were there instantly. But Barry quickly realized that that was just the surface. It was the hypervigilance and the sense of complete control Oliver had. Barry could tell, just by his emotions, that Oliver was or had asses every crevice of the building and was currently aware of every person in the room and what they were doing.

That was just the first layer.

Under that, there was so much care. Paired with that caring was fear of loss, protectiveness, self loathing and just...so many things.

Barry almost felt dizzy with it. But he had an idea of what Oliver was trying to convey. Oliver hated himself for hurting Barry, hated himself in general, but there was something in there, a resolve that he'd do it over and over again if it meant keeping Barry safe.

Barry had a feeling that the archer wouldn't just wound him with arrows to teach him to avoid further harm in the future.

It seemed Oliver would sooner break Barry's heart than inflict himself on him.

"You see?" Oliver pulled away, covering the Mark quickly. "Guys like me aren't built for...things like this." He nodded to the Mark Barry had left on him. "You'd think the Mark I left on you would be enough proof of that."

"What do you mean?"

Oliver's eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "What?"

"All I felt was someone who'd do anything to protect the people close to him, even people he doesn't quite love. That guy may hate himself, but I dunno, seems pretty heroic to me." Barry shrugged. "Guess that guy needs someone to keep him from being a self-sabotaging idiot. I may need to learn a thing or two about fighting, but you could stand to learn a thing or two about people."

"Wha-?"

"Ready to head home, Oliver?" Felicity asked, appearing out of nowhere, holding two cups of coffee to go.

"I-" He turned to Barry. "What? How was that what you took out of that?"

Barry smiled. "I'll teach you, young padawan."

"Star Wars!" Felicity grinned. "We should totally marathon someday. Lots of popcorn."

"Original trilogy only, right?"

"Duh." Felicity nodded. "Cisco's cool, he could come too." She looked down to Oliver. "Ready? Or do you two wanna...talk a little longer with Barry?" She had a secret, sly smile on her face.

Oliver slowly stood. "Um. We probably should head back. You're right." He glanced at Barry, with a dumbfounded face that said 'I don't know what I just witnessed'.

"Talk to you later, Ollie?" Barry offered.

Oliver looked like he so badly wanted to say no. Barry could see it in the man's eyes. That he really believed he should say no and stay away from Barry.

Barry saw the 'no' on the tip of Oliver's tongue. So he smiled, gentle, encouraging.

Oliver opened his mouth. "Yeah. Talk to you soon."

"Goodbye, Ollie." Barry smiled.

"Until next time, Barr...y." The y had been delayed and Oliver noticed it with wide eyes. "Barry." He corrected.

"Awe. Nickname stage. So cute. Come on, Oliver." Felicity walked toward the door with Oliver, but threw a wink over her shoulder at Barry.

If Barry didn't have super speed he wouldn't have seen the wink because he wouldn't have been able to process the shape of Oliver's retreating form and her obvious approval at the same time.

"Damn." Barry was fucked. Who knew how complicated and...fucking compelling this soulmate thing would be?

Now, he just had to see how to help Oliver navigate his whole...guilt complex thing.


End file.
